By: David Lester
Okay I wanted to do something a little bit different with this article. I am not really
good at writing fiction but I did the best I could. Sit back and relax and enjoy
the story of Santa as told by The Kentucky Weather Wizard.
Long ago in a holler in Eastern Kentucky folks used to say ole Saint Nick was
fireproof cause he would come down the chimney with a coal fire burning and pop
right out without so much as a spark on the floor. And would be able to do it in
every house, in every holler in the area all in one night. When I was little I didn’t realize
it wasn’t just our little Eastern Kentucky hollers but the entire world. I always
wondered how Santa could do it in one night.
As time passed I grew to understand a little better the stories that were told.
It was believed that on Christmas Eve, the stars may have slowed their dance;
or maybe time itself slowed down. That way Saint Nicholas could cross the world
before dawn. But how did he do it? Magic! So here is my perspective on how
Santa makes this trip around the world in one night. For starters he uses the
rotation of the Earth to give him some more time as he tries to keep up with the
eastward rotation of the planet. It is sort of like when we travel to the west we “gain”
some time because of time zone changes but lose time as we go east.
So Santa’s greatest trick isn’t just flying, it’s using the science of the Earth’s
rotation and just a little bit of time bending. With a twinkle from his pocket watch
and wiggle of his belly, he slows the world just enough so that one night stretches
into nearly endless hours. But that is not all…Now, let’s look at his magical sleigh.
It is not just ordinary wood and iron, it is enchanted with spells from centuries past
that gives it nearly limitless speed when needed. That’s how he can visit every
good little boy and girl. His magical red suit automatically changes colors and
styles depending on different cultures and it allows him to shrink to pass through the
tightest of chimneys with simply a finger to the side of his nose to activate it. In homes
without chimneys, he simply steps through the door as if it were mist. Once inside he
opens his magic pack, the bottomless bag of toys, it glows like a thousand fireflies
when Santa opens it. Every time he reaches in, the right gift appears perfectly
wrapped in paper that matches the child’s dreams.
Then with a bound, a twist and a gulp, he eats the milk and cookies or other
treats and is back up the chimney or out the door in a heartbeat. This one stop was
completed in what seems to us like a heartbeat but to him he had plenty of time,
if you got to see him when you were little it is because he let you see him. Behind
the scenes he has the helpers you never see. Though the elves make the
toys, they also weave little charms into each present. These charms ensure the
gifts find their way to the right child, even if Santa’s hands are full.
Now for the return trip home the sleigh arcs back Northward toward the North Pole.
The reindeer are tired but proud, and Santa leans back, satisfied with a job well done
for one more year. The world is quiet, but inside countless homes, joy is waiting
to be discovered.
Merry Christmas to all and to all good night!
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